I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
