As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
