i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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