I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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