i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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