My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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