It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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