no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
