addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just found puke in my bra..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize