Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
