life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
