is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
