dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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