Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
