Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
