There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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