You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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