the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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