Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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