they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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