there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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