I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
