so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
