she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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