I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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