and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
