UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
