Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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