there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Randomize
