what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
