You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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