Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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