he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
