Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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