If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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