4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
