There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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