If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
