That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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