Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
