Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize