Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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