My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
