Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
