I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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