I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i think i have herpe
just one?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
