evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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