I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
