Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
