I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
