remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
