He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
