There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
