Kiss
Puke
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
