As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
