Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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