I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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