It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
