I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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