put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
