is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize