So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
