Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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