I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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