I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
