i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
