Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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