your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
