I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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