hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
