I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
