I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
