This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
