its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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