Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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