nut hugger
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize