I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
