Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
